I like to have random titles to posts, make you wonder that they might actually be about rather than just telling you.
To be honest this is just a ramble post. A chance to just pour some thoughts onto a page in the hopes it might help.
I'm not in a terrible place right now. I have a good job, I'm sorting things out in my relationship (though things are still kinda rocky), I'm moving into my own place again and my general confidence is better than it ever has been.
But lately I've wondered if I have an ADD or ADHD condition.
There are times when all I want to do is burst out crying just to get the excess energy out of my system. Bouts of extreme happiness or mild depression (I used to suffer alot alot worse!) cause me to just want to cry.
I've found that my band has helped me alot lately. It's given me some focus and it's massively cathartic experience. Singing is a physical act that helps me burn this energy off and also because I take great stock in the meaning of lyrics and how expressive they can be, not just my own but all songs. They can really help filter and sift out some of the thoughts on my mind that i may not have the right words for but I can sing them out of my system.
Who needs therapy when I've got this? I tried councelling before and it was the biggest waste of time I've ever had.
They don't try and correct your negative behaviours, they just listen and hope that does the job.
That's why I've taken control of my improvement. NLP, PUA training, hypnotherapy training, these are all things that have allowed me to take responsibility for my own well being rather than feeling that I need to get help.
Most days are much easier now than they were, I still have bad ones but I can chalk them up to just one at a time and one out of many more better days that I've had.
It's just when I'm feeling low, I feel the need to throw it all out and get rid of it.
The whole point of this blog for me is to help me chart my progress and get some feedback.
I think that's enough for now.
No comments:
Post a Comment